FoodReference.com  (Since 1999)

FOOD POEMS and HUMOR SECTION

 

Home   |   Articles   |   Food_Trivia   |   Today_in_Food_History   |   Food_History_Timeline   |   Recipes   |   Cooking_Tips   |   Videos   |   Food_Quotes   |   Who’s_Who   |   FOOD POEMS   |   Culinary_Schools_&_Tours   |   Trivia_Quizzes   |   Free_Magazines   |   Food_Festivals

 You are here > Home

Poems & HumorFOOD HUMOR >  Food Spoilage Chart

 

CULINARY SCHOOLS
& COOKING CLASSES

From Amateur & Basic Cooking Classes to Professional Chef Training
Over 1,000 schools & classes listed for all 50 States, Online & Worldwide

 

FOOD SPOILAGE TABLE

(origin unknown)

THE GAG TEST
Anything that makes you gag is spoiled (except for leftovers from what you cooked for yourself last night).

EGGS
When something starts pecking its way out of the shell, the egg is probably past its prime.

DAIRY PRODUCTS
Milk is spoiled when it starts to look like yogurt. Yogurt is spoiled when it starts to look like cottage cheese. Cottage cheese is spoiled when it starts to look like regular cheese. Regular cheese is nothing but spoiled milk anyway and can't get any more spoiled than it is already.

MAYONNAISE
If it makes you violently ill after you eat it, the mayonnaise is spoiled.

FROZEN FOODS
Frozen foods that have become an integral part of the defrosting problem in your freezer compartment will probably be spoiled - (or wrecked anyway) by the time you pry them out with a kitchen knife.

MEAT
If opening the refrigerator door causes stray animals from a three-block radius to congregate outside your house, the meat is spoiled.

LETTUCE
Bibb lettuce is spoiled when you can't get it off the bottom of the vegetable crisper without Comet.

CANNED GOODS
Any canned goods that have become the size or shape of a basketball should be disposed of. Carefully.

CARROTS
A carrot that you can tie a clove hitch in is not fresh.

WINE
It should not taste like salad dressing.

POTATOES
Fresh potatoes do not have roots, branches, or dense, leafy undergrowth.

CHIP DIP
If you can take it out of its container and bounce it on the floor, it has gone bad.

GENERAL RULE OF THUMB:
Most food cannot be kept longer than the average life span of a hamster. Keep a hamster in your refrigerator to gauge this.

 

 

  Home   |   About & Contact Us   |   Interviews   |   Food Timeline   |   Food History Articles   |   Other Links  

Please feel free to link to any pages of FoodReference.com from your website.
For permission to use any of this content please E-mail: [email protected]
All contents are copyright © 1990 - 2023  James T. Ehler and www.FoodReference.com unless otherwise noted.
All rights reserved.
You may copy and use portions of this website for non-commercial, personal use only.
Any other use of these materials without prior written authorization is not very nice and violates the copyright.
Please take the time to request permission.


 

FoodReference.com Logo

 

RELATED PAGES