FoodReference.com Logo

FOOD POEMS & HUMOR SECTION

Food Poems & Culinary Poetry; Food Humor, Riddles, Jokes & One Liners, Funny Recipes

Home       Food Articles       Food Trivia       Today in Food History       Recipes       Cooking Tips       Videos       Food Quotes       Who's Who       Food Trivia Quizzes       Crosswords       Food Poems       Cookbooks       Food Posters       Recipe Contests       Culinary Schools       Gourmet Tours       Food Festivals & Shows

 You are here > Home

Poems & HumorFOOD HUMOR >  Diet Rules for Cheaters

 

CULINARY SCHOOLS
& COOKING CLASSES

From Amateur & Basic Cooking Classes to Professional Chef Training
Over 1,000 schools & classes listed for all 50 States, Online & Worldwide

 

Culinary Posters & Food Art

DIET RULES FOR CHEATERS


• If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.

• If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are cancelled out by the diet soda.

• When you eat with someone else, calories don't count if you don't eat more than they do.

• Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER count, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.

• If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.

• Movie related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one's personal fuel.

• Cookie pieces contain no fat — the process of breaking causes fat leakage.

• Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon while making a sundae.

• Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.
NOTE: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

• Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and popsicles.

(Unknown)  

 

 

FOOD POEMS by M. BRANDWIN       CONTEMPORARY FOOD POEMS       FOOD POEMS by S. BLUMENKRANZ       SHORT FOOD POEMS       LONGER FOOD POEMS       KEY WEST POEMS       FOOD HUMOR Diet Rules for Cheaters      Food Spoilage Chart       More One Liners       Some Short Jokes       Food Humor Riddles       Why Chicken Crossed the Road       Special Stress Diet       Granny Makes Pudding       Elephant Stew       Recipe for Mutton       Guiness Stout Story       You Might Be Cajun If...       Thoughts for a Crisis       Pondering Points       Miscellaneous Humor       There's a Fly in My Soup       Peg Leg Pig       Words of Wisdom

 

Home       About & Contact Us       Interviews       Food Timeline       Food History Articles       Other Links

 

Please feel free to link to any pages of FoodReference.com from your website.

For permission to use any of this content please E-mail: james@foodreference.com
All contents are copyright © 1990 - 2014 James T. Ehler and www.FoodReference.com unless otherwise noted.
All rights reserved.

You may copy and use portions of this website for non-commercial, personal use only.
Any other use of these materials without prior written authorization is not very nice and violates the copyright.

Please take the time to request permission.
 

 

 

 

Order Free Food & Kitchen Catalogs