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THOUGHTS TO GET YOU THROUGH ANY CRISIS

• Indecision is the key to flexibility.

• There is always one more son-of-a-b---- than you counted on.

• There is absolutely NO substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

• Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

• Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

• Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

• The facts, although they may be interesting, are irrelevant.

• The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

• Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.

• Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

• Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

• Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

• Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

• I have seen the truth and it makes no sense

• Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

• This is probably as bad as it can get, but don’t count on it.

• If you think that there’s good in everyone, you haven’t met everyone.

• All other things equal, fat people use more soap.

• If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

• One seventh of your life is spent on Mondays

• By the time you can make ends meet, they move the ends.

• Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that live is serious.

• The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets