“There's no such thing as a tough child - if you parboil them for seven hours, they always come out tender.”
W.C. Fields (1880-1946)
“I have been assured by a very knowing American of my acquaintance in London, that a young healthy child well nursed is at a year old a most delicious, nourishing, and wholesome food, whether stewed, roasted, baked, or boiled; and I make no doubt that it will equally serve in a fricasse or a ragout.”
Jonathan Swift (1667-1745)
"I like children, if they're properly cooked."
"In America, a parent puts food in front of a child and says, 'Eat it, it's good for you.'
In Europe, the parent says, 'Eat it. It's good!'"
John Levee in 'Another Way of Living', by John Bainbridge
"The age of your children is a key factor in how quickly you are served in a restaurant. We once had a waiter in Canada who said, 'Could I get you your check?' and we answered, 'How about the menu first?'"
"Even when freshly washed and relieved of all obvious confections, children tend to be sticky."
Fran Lebowitz, journalist
“Young children and chickens would ever be eating.”
Thomas Tusser, English author (1524-1580)
'Points of Huswifery'
“Humans are the only animals that have children on purpose with the exception of guppies, who like to eat theirs.”
P. J. O'Rourke (1947 - )
“It's bizarre that the produce manager is more important to my children's health than the pediatrician.”
“It is the duty of all papas and mammas to forbid their children to drink coffee, unless they wish to have little dried-up machines, stunted and old at the age of twenty....I once saw a man in London, in Leicester Square, who had been crippled by immoderate indulgence in coffee; he was no longer in any pain, having grown accustomed to his condition, and had cut himself down to five or six cups a day.”
Jean-Anthelme Brillat-Savarin (1755-1826)
“It is easier to raise a legion of olive trees in Galilee than to bring up one child in the land of Israel.”
“MOTHER: It's broccoli, dear.
CHILD: I say it's spinach, and I say the hell with it.”
Cartoon caption in the ‘New Yorker’
“The smell of coffee cooking was a reason for growing up, because children were never allowed to have it and nothing haunted the nostrils all the way out to the barn as did the aroma of boiling coffee.”
Edna Lewis, 'The Taste of Country Cooking'
“In the childhood memories of every good cook, there's a large kitchen, a warm stove, a simmering pot and a mom.”
Barbara Costikyan (10/22/84 New York Magazine)
“Vegetarians have wicked, shifty eyes, and laugh in a cold calculating manner. They pinch little children, steal stamps, drink water, favor beards.”
J. B. Morton
“The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.”
“A food is not necessarily essential just because your child hates it.”
“As a rule, children dislke foods which are said to be good for them, or are forced on them, and they take strong fancies to foods which they are not allowed to eat; advantage should be taken of these tendencies.”
Eric Pritchard, 'Enfant Education' (1907)
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