Food Insult Quotes

“Tea is an affront to lunch and an insult to dinner.”
Mark Twain (Samuel Langhorne Clemens) (1835-1910)

"I don't want to talk to you, no more, you empty-headed animal, food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries."
French Soldier in ‘Monty Python and the Holy Grail’

“Brabantio: ‘Thou art a villain.’
Iago: ‘You are -- a senator.’”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'Othello'

“Gratiano speaks an infinite deal of nothing, more than any man in all of Venice. His reasons are as two grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff: you shall seek all day ere your find them, and when you have them, they are not worth the search.”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
'The Merchant of Venice'

“He has not so much brain as earwax.”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
'Troilus and Cressida'

“His wit's as thick as Tewksbury mustard.”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'King Henry IV'

“The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes....”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'Coriolanus'

“There's small choice in rotten apples.”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
'The Taming of the Shrew'

“Thou deboshed fish thou.”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'The Tempest'

“Thy head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat, and yet thy head hath been beaten as addle as an egg for quarreling.”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'Romeo and Juliet'

“What cracker is this same that deafs our ears
What this abundance of superfluous breath?”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'King John'

“Why dost thou converse with that trunk of humours, that bolting-hutch of beastliness, that swollen parcel of dropsies, that huge bombard of sack, that stuffed cloak-bag of guts, that roasted Manningtree ox with the pudding in his belly....”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616) 'King Henry IV'

“You Banbury cheese!”
William Shakespeare (1564-1616)
'The Merry Wives of Windsor'


“Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.”
G.K Chesterton (1874-1936) Logo

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Over 4,600 Quotes About Food, Beverages, Agriculture and the Pleasures of the Table